I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
