she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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