Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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