All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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