If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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