Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
