I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
