You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
