Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
