You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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