is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
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I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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