I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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