You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
