so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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