In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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