Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
