Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
