who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
They took my balls.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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