you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
