We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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