the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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