Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
