At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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