you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Small penises have feelings too.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
