NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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