My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Mom said you looked used
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
