So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
