OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
