Swine flu. Run for my life!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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