Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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