just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
