ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
