dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
