i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
