no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
