Already got asked if we're dating
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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