you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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