I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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