Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
