Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
