I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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