so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
