I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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