i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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