Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
