White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
