Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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