Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i now understand why vodka
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
