dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
