Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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