if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
