Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
