i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
