fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
