How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
