SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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