I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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