There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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