When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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