i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
