Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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