pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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