apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
