I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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