ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
