my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
do nipples grow back?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
